Holding on tightly to anger, not allowing yourself to forgive, can be a toxic as any junk food you ingest or chemical that your put on your skin. Negative feelings that we decide to foster rather than release can become part of us on a cellular level. They pollute not only our thoughts, but also our physical bodies.
When someone has wronged us,
or even when we’ve wronged ourselves,
how to we begin to forgive?
“The secret of health for both mind and body
is not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future, or anticipate troubles,
but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
– The Teaching of Buddha by the Bukkyõ Dendõ Kyõkai organization
Let us embrace the practice of living in this moment, let us recognize the opportunity we have to immediately change our thoughts, and let us allow ourselves to choose love.
In 2007, I was living a very different life. I was struggling to survive, both emotionally and financially. The real estate market was bottoming out, and my short career as a real estate agent wasn’t supporting my family. I was buying food for my three kids with food stamps, and I didn’t have enough money to pay my utility bills or my mortgage. I had little education and even less real-world job experience. I had mostly just been a mom. In seven days, I’m taking my family on a trip to Disney World as a way to celebrate my first TV show.
In 2007, I was going through an incredibly painful divorce, and I felt lost. My self-esteem was non-existent and I didn’t feel worthy of a compliment, a friendship, or love of any kind. I didn’t even feel worthy enough to show love to myself. I hated my face. I hated my body. I hated being me. But somehow, last week I mustered up the courage to reach out to two of my biggest mentors to ask them for an interview for my YouTube channel. In five days, I’m sitting down with Kris Carr and Gabrielle Bernstein with my camera and my teenage daughter, who I had as a teenager, there as witnesses.
If I would have let my childhood define me – the neglect, the heartache, the confusion, the abandonment, the fighting, the poverty, the despair…
If I would have let abusive relationships define me – the hateful words, the physical abuse, the deception, the betrayal…
If I would have let my own thoughts about myself define me – the lies I told myself about not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, worthy enough…
If I didn’t teach and ALLOW myself to forgive those who hurt me and forgive myself for inflicting an equal amount of pain on my Self, I would never be who I am today. If I didn’t believe that there was a light in me that made nothing impossible, none of these things would be possible. And if I didn’t believe that you have that same light inside of you, I wouldn’t be writing these words.
If I can do it, absolutely anyone who is reading this can, too.
Connect with your breath. Go easy. Be free.
My meditation for forgiveness and letting go of anger…
The meditation today was light and easy and joyful. Even though a situation may be very big or very dark or may seem overwhelming, it doesn’t mean that it has to be dealt with in a complicated way. There is no secret to happiness beyond believing in yourself. It’s the small steps, the tiny pleasures, and the brief moments of joy found in connecting with your true and greater self that are the conquerors of despair. So if you can take just a few moments, let’s say four minutes of quiet meditation, to connect with yourself in a loving way each day, you have everything you need to access anything your heart desires.
Rebekah “Bex” Borucki, founder of BexLife.com and the Blissed In® wellness movement, is a mother-of-five, TV host, meditation guide, author, speaker, birth doula, fitness and yoga instructor, and popular social media personality. Her first book, You Have 4 Minutes to Change Your Life (Hay House 2017), is available now, wherever books are sold.
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