Holy Sanskrit. Like, as an expression and then quite literally… HOLY SANSKRIT! For three hours on Tuesday night and six long-but-incredibly-exciting hours yesterday, we attempted to swim in the ocean of Sanskrit. And I felt like I was drowning.
Ninety-nine percent of my confusion was the result of me just psyching myself out. I walked into the studio completely enthusiastic and ready to learn, and then as soon as our teacher began speaking I suddenly knew nothing (btw, Jill Manning gets a big “HOLLA!” and a “like woah”). It was like the Men In Black zapped me with a mind-wipe flashlight (remember those from the movie?) and my head was empty. I mean, I knew nothing. I felt like I forgot English. At one point on Tuesday night, Jill asked me about my thoughts on the meaning of yoga and I responded “no”. I shook my head, looked down at the floor, and just said “no”. What the hell was that about?! So Tuesday night – mind blown. Into fifty bagillion tiny fragmented completely blank pieces. And everybody noticed. Classmate “L” completely called me out on my weirdness in class which immediately made me panic that I had come off as rude to Jill. I was a mess!
Practice on Thursday morning – awesome, too short, love my teacher, felt great, couldn’t do half-moon, blah, blah, blah…
Saturday! I was thinking to myself, “TODAY is the day I get this Sanskrit thing under control.” By “thing” I mean my fear of it, not the whole language. Because thinking that I would be on my way to mastery in just six more hours would be, well… so completely typical of me (a wink goes in there, but it’s true).
I had my homework, which made me feel very prepared and confident. We were assigned to select a mantra to share with the class, and I chose one that I have literally sung or chanted every single day for the past 5+ years:
The Lord with the curved trunk and a mighty body,who has the magnificance of a Million suns,I pray to you Oh Lord, to remove the obstaclesfrom all the actions I intend to perform.
And despite the fact that I had done the assignment and studied the materials from Tuesday, the same panic came over me. Then, at lunch, I found my mind completely blank again and asking Jill, “um, what exactly is a mantra?” Oh my god, I’m a complete idiot. Ok, I know I’m not an idiot, but that’s what I felt as the words were spilling out of my mouth. She asked what I thought one was, and again – no f*cking clue. As I stammered on about something I read on Wikipedia (omg, what!!!), she rifled through some stacks of papers only looking up to say “I’m looking for your answer.” So maybe she didn’t hear the thing about Wikipedia… “check your sources” she said. Dammit, she heard me.
And then, just like clockwork, the magic happened. I got exactly what I needed. Take meaningful steps toward your goal. Make the effort. And success will race toward you. She had me read the following passages to the class. I underlined my favorite parts. (I don’t know the exact source of this material for me to give credit, so let me know if you do!):
On the topic of Mantras and Chanting:
Tremendous energies are constantly at work in man. Generally, they are wasted in faulty thinking, feeling, and planning on lower level. Through displacement and sublimation this psychic energy must be kept from running down and outward. Displacement is like taking money from the bank and sublimation is like putting that money to good use.
Chanting means sublimation of psychic energy from lower to hight level. Definition of the word mantram: man = to think, and tram = protection. Thus, mantram means protection through right thinking. All of our right thinking protects us.
Mind has obsessive-complusive tendencies. Through mantras we use these tendencies constructively. What comes automatically we can not overcome, but we can overcome anything that we create purposely.
Chanting requires energy. When we chant, energy is withdrawn from anxiety, which also needs energy to exist. Therefore, anxieties and difficulties are removed through chanting.
A mantram is an affirmation of divine truth. When chanting you can make your own tune and rhythm. Chanting opens channels for right thinking and right imagination. We already suffer from wrong imagination, and no one can live without imagination. So, learn to imagine right!
Repeating mantras over and over may be crazy, but by such controlled craziness we destroy uncontrolled craziness. Eventually, chanting mantras will be left behind, but for the present it is better than negative destructive tendencies. When chanting bring God into your mood and heart. Feel the presence of the divine within you.
For me, that was powerful. I asked “what is” and “why” and got the exact answer that made sense to me. That is an information victory. The whole universe, including God, the Vedas and all holy scriptures are within one’s own consciousness. The macrocosm is contained within the microcosm… If any devotee makes an effort towards that, then the grace of the divine is eternally available, in every point of time and space.
We practiced our vowels and consonants – all fun. I relaxed (with some gentle reminders from Jill to take it “step by step”), and I made attempts to jump into the ocean by volunteering to sing a mantra and lead some call-and-response.
In the end, I’m happy that my mind was empty – that I wasn’t overconfident, that I didn’t have expectations, that I didn’t feel like Sanskrit was something that I could even begin to master. I had forgotten everything I even thought I knew, and that allowed me to just take it in. I had so much fun.
I took away a couple gems with me that I’ll surely repeat to the point of looking completely obnoxious to my friends and family…
No experience, no transformation.
Purnam Adah Purnam Idam Purnat Purnam UdacyatePurnasya Purnamadaya PurnamevavasisyateThat is perfect. This is perfect.From the perfect comes the perfectand verily the perfect remains.
Oh, and never ever take sacred texts into the bathroom.Because that’s where the “dukkha” happens. xo